5:52AM: I’m awake. Looks like this live-blogging is happening.  I’ve possibly found a way to watch UK Big Brother’s launch live from my bedroom in Australia. If I can get wake up at 6:00AM Australian time to watch it, and if I’m not grumpy, chances are I will live-blog the launch.

Of course, if I sleep through my alarm, this post will most likely disappear in the morning, and I’ll just have to live-blog the launch once I’ve downloaded it. So it won’t REALLY be live-blogging but, you know, neither was Eurovision.

5:53AM: This is way too fucking early in the morning for me.

>>> THE REMAINS OF UKBB LIVE-BLOG, AFTER THE JUMP…

5:57AM: Really enjoying seeing adverts with British accents. Small things…

5:59AM: Alan Carr baby advert is amazing.

6:00AM: OMG IT’S LIVE.

6:03AM: Davina picks up the phone and says “NO DEAL” = Incredible.

6:04AM: Freddie almost looks hot with that dead carcass on his head.

6:07AM: What a fucking wanker.

6:08AM: OH GOD – A REAL LIFE LESBIAN PEOPLE. Crowd seem to like her…

6:10AM: Someone in the audience just shouted “Av’ it!” to Lisa. She really DOES look like that one, doesn’t she?

6:11AM: “I can hold a beer bottle in between my boobs. 36 GG.” !!!

6:12AM: The crowd aren’t really too impressed with the buxom blonde.

6:13AM: “She says she has huge ears, but we’re not really looking at those are we?” I love you Davina.

6:15AM: I love it when the housemates talk about Davina.

6:16AM: OH MY GOD – REAL LIFE TV ADVERTS. You British readers are probably thinking I’m being such a dickhead, but it really is refreshing!

6:16AM: Advert for sofa company playing McFly’s “All About You”. Very odd, but welcome.

6:20AM: Kris is hot.

6:20AM: Is he in a band?

6:20AM: Apparently not. Needs a girl to drive him to ASDA.

6:21AM: Does Kris have a Russell Brand aura about him?

6:26AM: Her name is Film Noir. That’s what I’ll be calling her for the rest of the series/however long she lasts/hopefully not long.

6:27AM: “Always look neat when you head out on the street, coz you’ll never know who you’ll meet.”

6:27AM: “I feel weird wiping my own ass.” Thanks Cairon.

6:30AM: Is Freddie, the posh one, over-compensating for the awkward situation by, er, over-talking?

6:30AM: Oh Davina McCall; you make my life complete.

6:31AM: The girl in the Brothers advert looks like Minge’s friend from Ab Fab.

6:36AM: This boxer chic, wow… talk about a spectacle…

6:37AM: “Seems the more they boo her, the slower she goes.”

6:37AM: “Oh dear.” Oh Davina! 

6:38AM: “They’re just there to your left love.”

6:39AM: Lisa’s certainly excited, isn’t she?

6:40AM: What was with the Brown wig?

6:42AM: “She dropped out of uni after three weeks because it was full of weirdos. Who wanted to learn.” And this is why Davina really is Gods gift to Television.

6:44AM: Marcus looks like Billy Ray Cyrus.

6:46AM: I actually think Angel, the crazy Russian, is my favourite so far…

6:47AM: Adverts for Lucozade? It’s one of my favourite drinks but I never see adverts for it on Australian television. Is this a good enough reason for me to move to London?

6:52AM: Beinazir is AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEINAZIR FTW!

6:54AM: Sophia is pretty damn great too. Cute little package!

6:56AM: BAHAHAHAHAHA! She’s totally lost it!

6:56AM: The smell of repetition really is on you.

6:58AM: I really hope that Beinazir and Sophia form a beautiful friendship; they are both my instant favourites.

6:59AM: Rodrigo looks incredibly hot/a little like Simon Curtis. Perfect pearlers.

6:59AM: He goes to church every day. Well there goes that one.

7:02AM: “His least favourite word is ‘Chillax’.” Another new favourite, hello Charlie.

7:04AM: Charlie is fucking HOT. Ooof…

7:08AM: Sugababes ad! I really love British television. Well, the Boots ad, but you know what I mean.

7:10AM: Saffia also seems to be quite fun. Why do they always leave the really interesting ones till the very end?

7:14AM: Davina: “Yeah I’ll take his flag.” Brilliant.

7:16AM: Erm… is this the spawn of John and Yoko?

7:38AM: Well, that was a bit ridiculous/amazing wasn’t it??