iPod shuffle is a strange, wonderful thing. Aside from blowing my mind to pieces the other day by playing three songs – in a row – about Penises (!!) (Gillette’s “Short Dick Man”, King Missile’s “Detachable Penis” and then Mickey Avalon’s “My Dick” – for fucking REALS), tonight it brought The Faders back into my direct line of attention.

“No Sleep Tonight” would have perhaps worked a little bit better had it not been sung by this lot and rather given to Sarah Harding as her debut solo single. The song is a pretty big pearler (so much so that Molly from The Faders went and recorded a solo version after they’d split) and would have done Sarah Harding very nicely. I’d BELIEVE her when she says she’ll be getting no sleep tonight. Molly McQueen on the other hand; definitely napping.

For best results, avoid watching the actual video clip (which is several hundred shades of utter shit) and just look at this picture of Sarah Harding being Rock ‘n Roll at a Rock Concert as The Faders audio plays.

Cor blimey they had a set of mugs on them, didn’t they?

I have lost all complete interest in the Sugababes for such a long time now, so long that I’m only getting around to talking about this current incarnation of the brand properly.

The thing is, this current line up could actually work and I know I’m not the first to say it. But here’s why I think it could work, provided steps are moved switfly away from anything to do with current album, the shit-stinker “Sweet 7″, which is the biggest pile of shit I’ve come across in a long, long while.

But the fact that the album’s best track is the non-available Keisha version of “About A Girl” speaks volumes about the kind of rubbish that this is filled with.

I’d like to think that “Sweet 7″ was Keisha knowing all along she was either going to destroy the Sugababes or leave and watch it crumble from the sidelines. Because Jade Ewen, Quicha’s replacement, had no input whatsoever (bar one awfully thought out track which was recorded later) in the way “Sweet 7″ sounded. There’s no print from her here whatsoever, and they’re basically playing with the ‘chosen’ drivel of an over-worked Keisha and unhappy Other Two.

I don’t think the girls are finished yet though. If they can make it through this album (it’s kinda looking almost certain that they will be making another album, Heidi’s telling anyone that’ll listen – barely anyone – that they’re absolutely not splitting up) and really think about where they want to go next, they could win back the interest of people like me (not that they’d give a shit, but hey this is a blog and apparently they matter, I DUNNO) and others who I know had called their death the second Keisha’s firing was made public.

Heidi’s reputation is on the line at the moment and I think she’s very well aware of that. She’s the new Keisha. The Sugababes are now her legacy to carry on through to the next firing, but I think Heidi’s going to be quite adamant about making sure everything runs as smoothly as possible so that there never IS another firing.

At the end of the day we all know that Heidi and Kimberley from Girls Aloud are very good friends and we all know Kimba’s partial to smoking a bit of weed every so often (over cups of tea and SKY+ recordings of “Emmerdale” and “X-tra Factor”). What I’m saying is, I don’t think a bit of that would do Heidi and the future of the Sugababes any harm.

I do still think they should change their name though.

Heidi & Ja’melle perhaps.

Because I do think that the original girls may still want to end the Sugababes legacy the way it started. The hints and rumours are probably too good to be true but fuck, I’m going to believe them because frankly there are five girls in Girls Aloud and only four of them seem to have any interest in being a pop group. I’ll clutch onto whatever glimmer of hope I can.

Anyway, from what I recall I actually did review “Sweet 7″ for the Australian edition of The Big Issue. I think I gave it two stars and immediately wished I’d given it one and a half, but justified (in print to the nation for a change – ha! I’ve never been published in anything nation-wide, so I’m a little bit chuffed and am totally gloating a bit, sorry) the extra half, perhaps, because of my love for “About A Girl.”

But the Keisha version.

Which wasn’t even on the album.

★

There are so many musical thoughts that end up on Twitter that, if I weren’t so lazy, could probably be extended into slightly longer paragraphs on the blog. I caught myself spending too much time on Twitter again this week when I could have been blogging. NO MORE!

There are things I really want to talk about, like the new Sophie Ellis-Bextor Song of the Year “Bittersweet”, or the amazing new album from Delphic (among other things I’ve got almost ready to go), but in the meantime, there’s all of this that’s going through my head.

The new Groove Armada album “Black Light” is quite rapidly going from being a three-and-a-half-star album to a near five-star one. It seems to be the most consistent album from them to date; “Look Me In The Eye Sister” is like 60’s psychedelia meets trance, “I Won’t Kneel” featuring SaintSaviour is one of their best singles so far, and Will Young (who’s still looking mighty fine and was tops in Skins, wasn’t he?) collaboration “History” and the Fenech Sole “Paper Romance” are actually perfect, aren’t they? Top stuff, I should do a proper review of it soon actually.

The debut Cassette Kids album is also incredible and, I think, will surprise a few of their doubters. Quality from start to finish, review and A NEW interview with the guys coming soon. Also, the new Rogue Traders single “Would You Raise Your Hands?” goes to radio tomorrow morning from 7AM – you’ll finally all get to hear what I’ve been banging on about for so long. It’s tops, can’t wait for everyone else to be in love with it too.

Telephone tomorrow. OMG…

The new MGMT single song abortion is so all over the place that I barely got through the whole thing. 4 minutes and 16 seconds should not feel like a really disjointed 40 minute megamix gone horribly wrong. It’s like they had 10 really good (unfinished) ideas for some great songs, and just put it all together in one. Disappointing. Make your own judgements on it though, it’s available – legally – for free over here.

The same goes for the brand new Princess Superstar single, “Ground Control.” I have a really big gripe with people whispering; it’s not a pretty sound but can be carried off quite well in very small doses in some pop songs. Every verse in this however is whispered. It grates so much that you’re just waiting eagerly for the chorus, but then – of course – it really doesn’t feel like it was worth the wait al all. And the wait has been five years for new material from this lady. It’s really upsetting because I have loved EVERYTHING she’s done in the past and not just the highly underrated “My Machine” LP from 2005. She’s an incredible entertainer live and has the smarts to pen a perfect song. Unfortunately, this is far from perfect, but I’m hoping there’s a lot more to her upcoming album “The Next Evolution” than this insinuates. Also being offered as a free download on her MySpace, if you’re interested. Immediately after you hear it for yourself, listen to this, or this, and tell me that I’m not disappointed for a reason. She doesn’t need to make an electro-fused record for me to be happy, it just needs to be good.

The new Sugababes album, “Shit 7″… I don’t think I need to say any more actually.

Blog-commenter J responded to my Ke$ha/3OH!NO remark on last weeks eTunes post by offering a link to a Ke$ha-only, 3OH-FREE version of “Blah Blah Blah.” Thank GOD. Find it here… Thanks J!

There’s a lot going on at the moment in regards to the closure of BBC’s 6 Music radio station, and whilst I’m not going to even attempt to talk about (Popjustice have done a pretty good job of that, here, here and here), it reminded me a little of the near-10-year battle Hitz FM suffered through when it was running for a full time license in Melbourne between the years of 1992 and 2001. You can read more about the station (which was never granted that full time broadcasting license) here, it pretty much cemented my passion for dance music and radio during my ‘formative years’ and the uproar being caused RE: the 6 Music closure has just brought all of those incredible, but now somewhat upsetting, memories back.

Cheryl Tweedy chose her words incorrectly during an International TV appearance and scared the shit out of hundreds of millions of their fans. It’s all been cleared up now (Cheryl’s NOT leaving Girls Aloud, nor has she left), but I really feel like we’ve gotten to a point where I almost couldn’t care less about any more Cheryl material OR Nadine’s new album because it’s all just getting in the way of having my 2010 Album of the Year picked out for me in the form of a Girls Aloud release. Bitches I am OVER this shit.

It’s been 10 years since The Avalanches released their debut album “Since I Left You”. Preposterous. Get on with it boys, who do you think you are, Kate Bush? If only it had been a 10 year wait in between Wolfmother albums… Aah yes, what a simpler world it would be.

CHERYL COLE
3 Words
(UNIVERSAL) B

So here it is. The first member of Girls Aloud to venture off into the world of the Solo Album. Whilst the five-piece are still that (for now), they’ve taken a year off to focus on solo projects; Nadine’s apparently recording a camp disco-stomper with a song written by Paula Abdul, Sarah Harding’s making movies with Doctor WHO’s David Tennant, Nicola Roberts is being head-hunted by Vivienne Westwood for a new clothing campaign, and Kimberley… well, I’m sure Kimberley’s enjoying her cups of tea on the balcony almost as much as she enjoys watching Chezz on the telle for Sunday nights X-Factor (Hopefully she’s stoned the whole way through because… actually, let’s face it, she probably is, so I might just move on.)

It’s no surprise though that Cheryl Cole would be the first to release a solo album. Although all bets were on Coyle, I’m sure Cole wanted to beat the other four to the punch in order to be remembered as the first to do it, perhaps. X Factor Judge, Tabloid-adored WAG, Girl Aloud, and now; Solo Artist. But can the music on her first long player match her sometimes inflated ego? There seems to be a little bit of proof in this pudding…

3 WORDS (featuring will.i.am)
Cheryl’s previously worked with will.i.am, so it’s no surprise she’s roped him in for her debut. Wise move too; however annoying you might find the Black Eyed Pea, this is proof he’s capable of penning some seriously good pop music. Think BEP’s “I Gotta Feeling”, but if it were actually good. VERY epic breakdowns, this is a heavenly way to open things. Also the next single.

PARACHUTE
Heavy, dramatic marching band happenings with a brilliant middle-8. There’s some hidden brass in there as well, and the final 30 seconds are somewhat magical. The biggest, brightest moment on 3 Words but, quite tellingly, the saddest Cheryl sounds on here.

HEAVEN (featuring will.i.am)
Another will.i.am moment on the record, it’s interesting to note that this is the first song whose verses are structured together more like it was written for a group of, oh, say, five girls? It’s a bit all over the place to be honest and the chorus is fairly aggravating, but underneath there is actually something decent here.

FIGHT FOR THIS LOVE
The first single, and the second best moment on the record. This is a straight-up, urban-pop song that even has a Shannon ‘Let The Music Play’/Debbie Deb ‘When I Hear Music’ 1980’s dancefloor feel to it. Hey X Factor performance of this was off the hook. View.

RAIN ON ME
SOMEONE CALL RONSON! COLE’S FOUND THE HORN SECTION!! But in all seriousness, this is World Class pop right here; there are elements of 1970’s soul and 1990’s urban-pop. The latter actually seems to be a distant motif through 3 Words, actually; there are a LOT of 1990’s elements through the record, just in time for this inevitable nineties comeback we’re due for any day now. “What’s the price of Thunder? Rain on me.” Amazing. It sounds nothing like her though.

MAKE ME CRY
Cheryl turns to disco-funk, and rips into a bit of swearing too along the way! Great track, though some might complain about the repetitiveness of the chorus. It is an initial weakness, but one you do grow to love after a few listens. This felt like album filler for the first few days but is now vying for the title of being my favourite on 3 Words.

HAPPY HOUR
There’s nothing particularly wrong with this – but – song content and pitch of Cole’s voice; is she trying to be Amy Winehouse or something? BUT SINGING ABOUT LOVE AS IF IT WERE THE DRIP. Bit of a bore, this one – not offensive but not really all that good either.

STAND UP
Written for Cole by Taio Cruz, there’s every chance this could be the third single. BONZA chorus that sounds like it could have Cruz on backing vocals. All kinds of brilliant, a highlight, even if it doesn’t sound anything like Cheryl for most of it. I like to sing “Coz I came here to dance, I’m gonna pull up my pants and stand up! Stand up!” during the chorus. Try it; works better.

DON’T TALK ABOUT THIS LOVE
I gave this a bit of a hard time in my print review, but I’ve since changed my mind and actually think it’s quite lovely. Sorry Cheryl; please don’t strike me and call me a Jigaboo.

BOY LIKE YOU (featuring will.i.am)
Sampling Fleetwood Mac’s “Little Lies”, it all just sounds like a bunch of noise by the end of it, and the rent-a-rapper-feel of will.i.am’s delivery just makes this all the harder to sit through. Phoned in much?

HEARTBREAKER (will.i.am featuring Cheryl Cole)
This has aged surprisingly well, hasn’t it?

THE VERDICT…
3 Words seems to have slightly suffered from a time restriction. There are a lot of really interesting ideas on this record, and a few songs which are perfect from start to finish, but there are a handful of songs that could have been absolute stompers, but appear to sound somewhat half-finished. And it’s those songs that, unfortunately, are the ones which feel like they were the most rushed. The singles are identifiable, absolutely, and there are golden album-only moments on it, but overall, 3 Words could have really been a bit better, and maybe released before Christmas, rather than October. It would have been interesting to see where Cole could have taken the album had she been given an extra two months to work on it, particularly with the obvious 1990’s urban-pop and 1980’s electronica inspired moments sprinkled across the disc. Everything is here for this to be a truly momentus record, but it just comes down to it only being a half-finished album in a few of its tracklisting placements.

That said, I still haven’t stopped listening to selected highlights from it all week, so go figure.

Read Talia’s ace review, and Mr Discopop’s equally as brill one (I love the Parachute summary. Amazing.)

EDIT. The album INSTANTLY went from a B- to a solid B with the following amended tracklisting:

01. Parachute
02. Fight For This Love
03. Rain On Me
04. Stand Up
05. 3 Words
06. Make Me Cry
07. Heaven
08. Happy Hour
09. Boy Like You
10. Crazy Fool (GA solo-Cheryl b-side)
11. Heartbreaker (will.i.am ft. Cheryl)
12. Don’t Talk About This Love
13. Didn’t I (FFTL b-side)

See? Much better!

Girls Aloud video clips are not exactly renowned for their cinematic brilliance. At times, they are often sloppily choreographed, shonkily edited and look like they’ve cost the record company about £2.50. It’s something we’ve grown to love about the girls; great songs, shit clips.

But in recent times, it seems the Girls (or at least their people) have been spending at least a good £10.50 on each video clip, in particular the last two for “The Loving Kind” and “Untouchable.” Interestingly, those two singles, although being some of the girls strongest work, were the weakest performers they’ve had in a while. Which begs the question as to whether these (slightly) more expensive video clips have anything to do with it. Do the music buying public not want the Girls to look expensive? Or is it because so much money was spent on the video clip, there was not enough money to go and promote the single? Let’s take a look at the evidence… (Click on the song titles to view video clips…)

>>> All 21 of GA’s video clips dissected… after the jump!
Read the rest of this entry »

It’s been three years since British-pop wizards the Pet Shop Boys delivered their last studio album, the dazzling “Fundamental”. There’s no denying that particular record was almost perfect, particularly after the bore that was 2002’s “Release.” “Fundamental” came complete with flawless pop moments in the form of “Integral”, “Numb”, and an arms-aloft, poppers o’clock remix of Dusty Springfield’s “In Private,” turned into an emotionally driven, camp-anthem with a little help from Elton John. There were, however, moments of weakness, like the dire “Psychological” or weak lead single “I’m With Stupid.” It may have been the official comeback album for them, but studio long player number ten, “Yes”, is a cut much more deserving of the title, and one that sees them working alongside Xenomania; Girls Aloud’s top-of-the-pops-force writing and production team.

From the lovestruck beauty of “Did You See Me Coming?”, to the cheekiness of “Pandemonium” (in which Neil Tennant coos “Is this a riot, or are you just happy to see me?”), or the drama of “Legacy”, there isn’t a single skip-forward moment to be found. There’s plenty to crow about in songs like “Vulnerable” (the records greatest, most delicate and heartbreaking moment, made all the more powerful by that impeccable “I’m just filing my nails” lyric delivery from Tennant we’ve all come to know and love), “More Than A Dream” (which needs to be a single thanks to its catchier than V.D. chorus), and “The Way It Used To Be”, which are the absolute hallmark moments on “Yes”.

Opener and lead single “Love etc.” is an erratically complex pop song that throws together one of the most dysfunctional song structures you’ll have heard in years. Bizarre placement of the bridge and chorus before we’ve even heard a verse is classic Xenomania, but this is still 100% a Pet Shop Boys song; an instant classic. And that’s the brilliant thing about this record; it has sprinklings of Xenomania throughout yet manages to present itself completely as a proper and unique Pet Shop Boys disc.

It’s incredible to see Neil and Chris producing their best record since 1993’s “Very” a good 25 years into their career. And maybe they’ve found the right tools (like salt to a meal, there are small servings of Xenomania added to “Yes” which gives it its subtle bite) in order to bring out their sonic flavour.

On a final note, the other night I came up with what I thought was the most hilarious joke. I sent it to Popjustice but, alas, I don’t think they found it as hilarious as I did.

Q: What movie do the Pet Shop Boys call their absolute favourite?
A: Love, Actually.

Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Please; try the veal.

Worra‘review! > > >
Fizzy? Yes! > > >
D’banter’yes! > > > (HEY! I’m one of those American Life fans!)
Will W. + EQ = Yes! > > >
Dan’s INCREDIBLE 25 years of PSB fact machine = YES! > > >

And Yes! (er, enough of that perhaps), I’m back to blogging properly. Sorry it’s taken me 27 different breakdowns and large gaps in between posts… I do hope you’ll forgive me. x

When Girls Aloud announced in 2006 they were coming to Australia to try and crack our local market, I set up a separate (R.I.P.) website called ‘Girls Aloud: Boogie Down (Under) Love’ with relevant information for people to help/stalk the girls whilst they were in the country. Campaigns were launched, the whole shebang. The girls came, “Biology” was released to minimal promotion or work from the record company, and the whole visit was pretty much a waste of time (not for me as I got to meet them, but, you know, I’m sure they weren’t too pleased about debuting at #26.)

There’s a new renegade group who are now trying to do the same. Years later, Girls Aloud are still a pop force to be reckoned with, and it’s genuinely unfathomable for me to understand why Universal Australia won’t even *release* their music here. Sugababes sell just as low and yet I have been able to purchase all of their albums locally.

There’s a way you can help. There is a facebook group here. Join it. Read through it.

There are also the following video’s. Let’s have a gander…

“I approve.”

I’ll be purchasing a copy of the donktastic Alex K remix of “Call The Shots” on the 27th through iTunes. You can do the same too by clicking here (on the 27th, mind.)