As I get ready to party the year that was away, I have one final bit of housekeeping I need to attend to. First of all, if you haven’t seen them yet: here are my Top 209 Songs of 2009, and here are my Top 50 Albums of 2009 – all complete lists. Anywho, no one is keener than I to see the arse-end of this year fuck off and begone already, so let’s begin…
COMPILATION OF THE YEAR Balance 014, mixed by Joris Voorn
How do you fit over 100 tracks onto a 2-disc compilation? Listen to this to find out what it sounds like when DJing becomes a production in itself.
LIVE GIGS OF THE YEAR Grace Jones in Sydney was undeniably magnificent, as was the sublime DJ set from Joris Voorn at the Balance 014 launch at Melbourne’s Brown Alley Nightclub. An honourable mention goes to the Arctic Monkeys at The Big Day Out in January.
WORST GIG OF THE YEAR P!nk. Rubbish gig. I paid $130AU to see her spin in the air half the night and sing ballads. And about 47 covers. No. Thanks. I spent more time at the bar than I did the actual show, and that is because her ballad section dragged on for longer than 45 minutes. That is two whole hours of my life I will never get back and, to be honest, after such a poor performance, this bitch is walking on very thin ice with me. Her next album needs to be outstanding or we’re done…
VIDEOS OF THE YEAR Lady GaGa “Bad Romance”, Florence + The Machine “Drumming Song”, Lady GaGa “Paparazzi”.
WORST VIDEOS OF THE YEAR Patrick Wolf “Vultures”. XO agrees.
BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT Rihanna’s “Rated R”. The striking and iconic new image and sexed-up campaign was there, pity the tunes weren’t. Tellingly, the most interesting moments on here are lead single “Russian Roulette”, and the album intro “Mad House.” The rest… meh.
ALBUMS I NEVER GOT AROUND TO IN 2009: The xx, Robbie Williams. Silly, watch they both appear in next years list.
WOMEN OF THE YEAR Madonna (for the memories that the Celebration campaign brought on), Lady GaGa, Florence + The Machine, Joan Rivers (for winning The Celebrity Apprentice over that vile cunt Annie Duke), Antigone, Bette Porter, Lily Allen, Keisha Buchanan, Sugababes v1.0, and Patricia Kaas.
BIGGEST POP SCANDAL OF ‘09 The Sugababes drama. At least it gave us this, though.
OH DO SHUT UP Cheryl Cole. If I hear her banging on about how nasty Lily Allen is, even though it has literally been well over a year since their last public mishap, one more time, I will beat Paul and Mike to the chase and punch that silly bitch right in ‘er jigaboo. Shut. Up.
2009’s BIGGEST WASTES OF SPACE Keira Knightley, Ke$ha, Pixie Lott.
‘09 TELEVISION Dollhouse – Season 2 took this epic Whedon series – now in its final season – to a whole new level and proved to be the TV-masters greatest show yet, Cougar Town – Courtney Cox is hilarious, but the real star is her bonkers assistant, Laurie, played by the gorgeous Busy Philips, True Blood – Season 3 couldn’t come any sooner, and Satisfaction, an Aussie drama about a high-class escort agency within Melbourne’s CBD.
TELEVISION OF YESTERYEAR IN ‘09 The L Word took up so much of my time, thoughts and imagination earlier this year when I spent about four weeks watching Seasons 1 through 6 for the very first time. I fell in love with Bette Porter (played by Jennifer Beals), who, were I ever to become a Lesbian, would be my ultimate fantasy – if for this incredible quote alone. I also finally got into Boston Legal and have quite the crush on both Alan Shore AND Denny Crane. Denny Crane.
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION To spend more time listening to music, writing about music and blogging, rather than obsessing over unnecessary things like, for example, boys.
I am off to a New Years Eve Party being held in an old Shop tonight. No doubt I’ll write myself off and be in a miserable state for the Summadayze festival on New Years Day. Can you believe I’m going to start the New Year by seeing TECHNOTRONIC live?! Childhood revival! I cannot wait.
I hope you all had a very, very Merry Christmas (sorry for the tardiness), and I also would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for reading, commenting, and for showing your support during times when I was being a shitcunt and not posting, sometimes for months at a time. Thanks also to the amazing pop blogging community too, who are some of the most talented writers in the world.
Have a fucking ace New Years! Get loose, cause some anarchy and start some shit, get on the hongas or suck back a winebox or even line up a bit of Charlie; whatever your poison, enjoy yourselves and make sure you play safe.
x
